In China, sunglasses were used as early as the 12th century. Made out of flat panes of smokey quartz, they helped protect people’s eyes from the sharp glare of the sun. Cut to 2020, we might not have glasses carved out of gemstones, but the pastel-pink hue is certainly the rage. Available in different textures, this colour has found home in many a shape, owing to its delicate hue.
Harnaam Kaur is her beard—dark, glossy, and framed by a vivid turban and perfectly-exaggerated winged liner. But that’s not the most striking thing about this 29-year-old model, anti-bullying activist, and motivational speaker. No, what makes Harnaam truly extraordinary is her most compelling asset—a lion-heart, eating inside the body of a compassionate, sensitive woman. Harnaam, a British woman of Indian descent, hit puberty at the age of 10, and was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) at 12, which caused her to develop thick facial hair. PCOS is a fairly common condition, a hormonal imbalance that causes weight gain, excessive hair growth, and irregular periods. Harnaam waxed and shaved and bleached her hair several times a week, to a point where her skin would turn painfully raw, but the hair continued to spread. The schoolyard bullies taunted her, calling her “shemale” and “beast” and “sheman”; “they kicked me with footballs and stabbed me with pens”. Harnaam began skipping school and refused to go out, for fear of herself. Until Harnaam decided she was done. She would not allow her haters to win…and she would accept her body—and beard—just the way it was. As Harnaam shares her story with me, over a Skype call, I want to reach out and hug her. Not just because of the bullying and shaming and violence and death threats she has had to endure (the death threats continue, by the way)…but because she chose to rise above the ridicule and scorn, and has emerged as a passionate disrupter of mainstream beauty standards. With every photograph Harnaam posts on social media, of herself living her best life—and looking amazing—she inches us a little forward, towards true diversity and body positivity. In a superficial world that venerates ‘perfection’, Harnaam challenges our perceptions and reminds us that uniqueness is to be celebrated. Harnaam tells me she wants more women to learn about her arduous—but inspiring—journey towards self-love, so they can pluck out some courage for themselves from the supply that she has. This is her mission. And this is her story…
People will Always have opinions
Nandini Bhalla: Growing up, what was your idea of beauty?
Harnaam Kaur: “I don’t think I knew what it meant to be beautiful, but I knew that I was…not beautiful. When you grow up hearing things like, ‘Oh, she’s such a fat kid’, or ‘moti’ (fat), or ‘kaddu’ (pumpkin)… it can leave a deep impact on a young mind. I don’t think people understand how their words affect a person. Even if those things are said in a loving way, you know? So for me, being fat was always an issue. And then some parts of my body were darker than others, so I was also told to use fairness creams…like, you have to be white to be ‘right’. Now I embrace my body. But back then, my friends were all blonde and thin, with blue eyes and beautiful skin. And to see them being more popular than I was, it sent my brain a message that the way I looked was not acceptable. It’s hard because kids learn at a very young age that their body should look a certain way. And it’s heartbreaking. One of the things I love about my job is that I am able to go to schools and portray a diverse image of what a body should or could or possibly might look like. That we are all different.”
NB: What happened when you decided to keep the beard…how did people around you react?
HK: “My family was worried about how the world would react towards me. They were worried that I may not be able to live my life happily and would have to face difficulties. And I did face many difficulties. I understand when children are unintentionally mean, it’s because they’re inquisitive and come from a place of innocence. But adults—they are the worst! The abuse that I get from adults, even am having to pay for being in the public eye. Someone who is South Asian, a Punjabi, a woman who’s gay and has a beard, wears a turban, and has tattoos and piercings… You know, I am everything people don’t want me to be. It’s the price I have to pay.”
NB: So many women struggle to find the courage to fight back and accept themselves in the face of bullying and trauma. How did you find your strength?
HK: “You have no idea what it took to get “I have to get used today, has taken me a very long time to get used to. It’s funny that I’m having to say this to you…but the truth is that I have to get used to the abuse. Because this is my life, you know, and this is what I have to endure day in and day out. And it’s horrid, but that’s the price I here, and it still does! It’s not like you wake up one morning and say, ‘Right, I feel brave now!’. I keep telling people that I am suicidal like 80% of the year. The other 20% of the time, I’m barely surviving. It is a daily battle. And I don’t think bullies understand the impact their actions can have on someone’s abuse.” mental health. It’s horrible that they don’t care for another person’s well-being. For me, my courage came from just me wanting to be me…like, I can’t be anyone else. I can’t be you, you can’t be me. And once I realised that it’s all about finding yourself, that gave me the freedom to be like, ‘Well, this is me now’. People can either understand that and join me on this journey, and we can all lift each other up, or they can hate from the sidelines. And if that’s the way that they want to be, I can’t help them.
I’ve got a large number of followers from India, and I feel things are harder there because there’s still a lot of progress to be made. Young girls in India are constantly tormented for the way they look, and there’s a lot of stigma surrounding dark skin. So many young women approach me about PCOS, you know, and they tell me how their family taunts them. It’s difficult! But I think the first thing you need to do is figure yourself out, and understand who you really are. Once you do that, other people will realise that as well. That first step towards being kinder and more understanding towards yourself is the hardest step that anyone can take. But it is liberating.”
NB: What can each one of us do to love ourselves a little more? HK: “See, I don’t like saying ‘love yourself’ anymore. I feel the term has been commercialised, and a lot of people are using it as a marketing ploy to make money. But I keep telling people that the most important thing to do is be kind. Because
self-love is a journey, and it’s unfair for me to say to someone, ‘Just love yourself and your life will be fine!’. How can someone who has gone through over 10 years of abuse, someone who has hated themselves every single day, suddenly wake up one day and say that they’re going to love
“The number of death threats I receive is disgusting”
themselves because Harnaam asked them to? There’s no such thing. It’s a journey. And I think that starts with kindness—you have to wake up and be kinder to yourself, whether you’re going through depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem. Do simple things like waking up and taking a shower, you know… Spend time with yourself, do things that make you smile, meet your friends and surround yourself with positive people. And once you take those steps, yeah, you might say to yourself one day: ‘You know what, I actually love who I am now!’. It’s because you’ve gone on that journey to find who you are, and created a safe space for yourself with amazing people who are going to uplift you. You know who you are, you know what you are passionate about, and that’s how you will end up loving your life, and ultimately loving yourself.
But it’s something that you have to do over and over again. And we need to be able to change our inner voice as well, because our minds are so powerful… I think sometimes, people forget that. If you’re able to override the negative thoughts that other people have put in your head through their opinions, you’ll slowly be able to change your mindset and, eventually, who you are.
Like, someone called me fat, so I believed I was fat, right? Someone called me ugly, so I believed I was ugly. I saw a photograph of someone on Instagram and I thought, that’s who I need to be like. The human mind is very powerful. It absorbs information, so we need to surround ourselves with things that will actually benefit us and add value to our lives. If that means blocking someone or moving away from toxic people and family and friends, do it because your mental health and mental well-being is more important.”
NB: You mentioned that you still receive hurtful comments and death threats from online bullies… HK: “I absolutely hate the toxicity we see on the Internet! If there’s one reason I want the Internet to shut down, it’s because of online bullying. The number of death threats I receive, the amount of hate and bullying I have to face, especially from our own South Asian community, is disgusting. And, you know, the bigger the Internet becomes, the more people think it’s okay to make fake profiles to troll people, especially those in the public eye. I’m able to deal with it because I’m 29 right now (I’ll be 30 soon), and I have dealt with this my entire life. And I am able to deal with it now because I am confident. But there are young girls who are not so confident, and having to read horrible things about yourself online can have a detrimental effect on you. I just wish that social media platforms were stricter when it comes to online bullying…”
NB: I know that you love experimenting with make-up. What is in your make-up bag, and what is your go-to look? HK: “I have so much make-up and I truly enjoy experimenting with it. It’s not about changing who I am, it’s about accentuating my features…I think that’s a very powerful thing. My go-to look is nude lids with a little bit of shimmer, and bold, black liner—sometimes, I’ll use a blue or purple liner, too, as I like a nice wing. I like to accentuate my eyes so people’s focus is on my eyes. Because it’s a bit weird when I’m talking to someone and all they’re talking to is my beard! I’m just like, ‘My eyes are up here!’. And also, when you go out wearing a red lipstick, you feel empowered…you feel like a boss! But I prioritise skincare over make-up. Once you have a good base, your make-up will sit on your face a lot better, a lot more nicely. So I like to look after my skin a lot more than wearing make-up.”
NB: Finally, how does it feel to be able to help women feel more empowered and fight back against archaic beauty standards? HK: “Knowing that I am helping someone, even if it is just one person, is the biggest joy for me. The biggest happiness for me! And that’s why I’m able to travel wherever I want to and talk to young people. Because I want to help young people, regardless of who they are, regardless of gender, ethnicity, or colour. I just want to be able to help. And it brings me so much comfort when mothers approach me saying, ‘You know, my daughter was looking at your pictures and she thinks you’re beautiful’. And you know, ‘Are you the princess in The Greatest Showman?’ If you’ve seen that film, there’s a bearded lady in it. (Fun fact: the bearded lady in The Greatest Showman was based on me!) I will keep fighting. I will keep fighting for people who don’t have any fighting spirit left in them, and I will keep speaking for people who don’t know how to use their voice. And I will keep helping people that need help. There’s so much pain in the world right now, and we need people to bring about change. So that’s my driving force. That’s my biggest inspiration in life… actually going out there and helping people and adding value to their lives. That’s what I want to do.”
The Skimlinks Editor Toolbar is the easy to use Chrome Extension that any publisher who is writing commerce content should have installed.
When a publisher is on the merchants website, they’ll instantly be able to see if they provide commision rates, what they are and easily be able to create an affiliate link directly from the toolbar.
Features of the Skimlinks Editor Toolbar:
Easily see the average commission rate the merchant has paid over the last 90 days The ability to see the full conditions relating to commission rates without leaving the page Whether the merchant provides exclusive or higher than average commission rates Shorten links to share on social networks If you manage multiple domains, the ability to select the domain you want to affiliate so that the relevant commision rates show
You need to have a Skimlinks account and be logged in for the Editor Toolbar to work. You can sign up for an account here https://signup.skimlinks.com/
Verry good and useful tool (for sharing link and know if partnership)Was this review helpful?YesNo
It seems the skimlinks extension isnt working and when i try to log in, i get a notification saying that “An unexpected issue has happened. Please try again later or contact support@skimlinks.com if the issue persists.” BummerWas this review helpful?YesNo
Love the new version and sleeker design, so easy to work out which merchants can make me money and understand rates instantly. Essential tool for making money from affiliate.Was this review helpful?YesNo
Love the update! So much easier to useWas this review helpful?YesNo
The new version is great, information on rates are super clear, and it is very easy to see which merchants offer interesting ratesWas this review helpful?YesNo
This tool only works for a very short amount of time before it no longer shows up! Pretty much a waste of time!Was this review helpful?YesNo
Skimlinks has been for the past few weeks now been overwriting affiliate codes with their own codes, thereby leaving affiliates to promote merchant products, yet never earning any money, since any commissions seem to be credited against Skimlinks own codes. They were made aware of this issue some time ago but have as yet failed to rectify this issue. They even managed to change WP user codes for Amazon affiliates to be changed to Skimlinks own codes after the website owner uninstalled their plugin.
There really needs to be a way to prevent the extension from randomly switching between sites without warning. My company uses multiple sites with Skimlinks, so it gets confusing & becomes a headache!Was this review helpful?YesNo
What and how can you learn new skills during this time of isolation? As many professionals will tell you, having more time to yourself is a great opportunity to update your resume (or life) by taking a useful course (that might even translate into a fulltime career!). Here are some online classes and personality-based learning options I love…and you
The Ingenuity of Interior Design
If you’re a maximalist at heart, you’re going to love adding this course to your roster. There’s nothing else quite like Kelly Wearstler’s 17-part video masterclass on interior design to get your creative juices flowing. The American decorator has created some of the most talked-about spaces and celebrity residences, and her bold and experimental decor is a favourite with bonafide design enthusiasts. I have a serious love for great interiors (come say hello @wabisabiinc), so I went through the entire series in a single sitting. It’s quite nice to watch a master in action and listen to her tips and tricks on how to bring colour, light, patterns, and texture into your personal space. However, it’s the class workbook that really has the gold, so don’t forget to download that before you begin. Course: Kelly Wearstler Teaches Interior Design
Learn from Only the Very Best!
MasterClass is an online education platform that offers classes for students of all skill levels. What sets MasterClass apart, though, is the roster of famous faces that take on the role of instructors. From cooking classes with Gordon Ramsey to acting lessons with Natalie Portman, or even tennis lessons with Serena Williams—there’s something for everyone there! Cosmo tip: you’ll find that MasterClass has over 80+ classes and courses on offer, which could be overwhelming for those of us who can’t decide between an acting course by Natalie Portman and a photography lesson by Annie Leibovitz. Luckily, several people have taken ALL the courses, and have uploaded their reviews as blog posts. A quick Google search will give you the feedback you need.
Course: MasterClass Online Classes
The Science of Happiness
This programme has become American, ivy league Yale University’s most viral class ever, after The New York Times wrote about how one in four students on the campus had enrolled in the class just days after registrations opened in January 2018. Judging by the mental health breakdown that has become every millennial’s existential angst over the past few years, the programme was designed to teach students how to lead a happier, more satisfying life. The course has become so popular that it is now available for free on Coursera for the general public. Taught by psychology and cognitive science professor Laurie Santos, the course focuses on positive psychology (characteristics that allow humans to flourish) and behavioural change (how to live by those lessons in real life), culminating in a lockdown, this is as good a time as any to turn to science for answers on how to be happy in difficult times.
Course: The Science of Well-Being by Laurie Santos
Master Your Instagram
If you’re a content creator, business coach, entrepreneur, or just someone who is looking to up their Instagram game, you must check out Vanessa Lau. The young and influential social media expert hosts The Bossgram Academy course once a year, which is expensive but super-popular. But while you decide on that, check out tonnes of free resources on her Instagram and YouTube pages to help you up-level your social media game. Her free #Bossgram blueprint is a great primer to get you started, but I also recommend binge-watching her YouTube page for lots of free tips, tricks, and truths on social media, marketing, and entrepreneurship. If you like to learn, you’ll enjoy her easy, expressive style. Course: The #Bossgram Blueprint
Expand Your Productivity and Organisation Skills
Amy Landino is a popular speaker, coach, and vlogger, and has been a video marketing consultant for a decade. She also runs a super-popular YouTube channel called AmyTV, where she discusses everything from how to be productive and more organised, to time management tips, motivation hacks, and even how to create videos for your personal brand or business. She is also the author of Good Morning, Good Life: 5 Simple Habits To Master Your Mornings And Upgrade Your Life, and also hosts a podcast. Her YouTube channel is a binge-worthy place to learn all day, every day, and it’s for free. Course: AmyTV
I created Sanity because—actually, let’s back up. This story actually starts with a different extension, and my growing frustration with being a web designer on a very outdated site. A little over a year ago I decided to pick through the site’s style and create a skin to mask everything, using Stylebot to execute it.
It was… okay. It was really just a day project for myself that I wound up letting a few friends have copies of. I even considered fine tuning it and selling it in my shop! But…
Surely I could do better, right…?
And that’s really where Sanity started. I’ve worked on this project for months to create a self-contained extension specifically for IJ, that not only updates the site’s CSS, but repairs and adds as many features as I can work in—with more to come!
If you’re like me, you feel at home using IJ. It’s familiar, and it’s comfortable; we feel at home because it is a home. But if you’re really like me, then you’re also getting tired of feeling like you’re stepping back in time when you use it, and you’re itching for more up to date features to be implemented so that we can have the same level of comfort and ease that we do on all of the other sites we use. Because why wouldn’t we want our home to be as functional as possible?
And that, my friends, is where Sanity would like to step in. WHAT DOES SANITY DO?
FINALLY, THE FEATURES YOU NEED
From an updated look to repaired and completely new site features, Sanity’s ultimate goal is to give users the things they need. It’s 2018, and the internet is a very different place than it was ten—or even five!—years ago. The evolution of the internet means sites need to evolve with it or get left in the dust.
Unfortunately (but understandably), a lot of the tools we love to use for our journaling sites have long since been abandoned, so I decided to create an extension with the hopes of breathing new life into Insanejournal, both in appearance and function. You can read more about what Sanity does on the Features page!
Whether you’re a roleplayer, a personal blogger, or you post fanfiction or resources, Sanity’s here to help make your experience better. Sanity doesn’t focus on one type of site user so much as all of us! While the majority of us are here to roleplay and/or create related resources for the hobby, all the tools I’ve integrated into the Sanity extension are here to fit any need! AND THAT’S NOT ALL!
THERE’S LOTS MORE TO COME
I built the initial release of Sanity with the intention of expanding and adding more robust features as I learn and grow as a programmer—I won’t be setting and forgetting until I’ve done as much as I possibly can for our user experience on Insanejournal! I have big plans and high hopes for the future of this extension over the next year, and I’m excited to add more features! From an IJ-specific thread unfolder to an integrated login toggler and live notifications, Sanity will only get even better from here.
Holy carp, never has IJ looked so good. I can’t get over what a difference Sanity makes. I usually use Dreamwidth for all my journaling needs, because what they lack in icon space they make up for in aesthetics, but with Sanity installed, I’ve been using IJ more and more. It’s so crisp, so clean, and pleasing to use. I could never go back to a life without Sanity!Was this review helpful?YesNo
I absolutely love what this extension has done for the site. Having gone from Livejournal to Insanejournal one of the things I find so frustrating about the IJ is the looks exactly the way it did when I first signed up. Sanity gives it a fresh look, and I love the added features that resolve long-standing site issues. The overhaul of “My IJ” and the functioning character counter on comments? Love it so much. As someone who runs a game on the site, I will be promoting it for my user group and hope it overall enhances everyone’s time on IJ.
What do you do when you’re already supplying the cleanest, most user-friendly layouts and in-entry codes on IJ? Apparently you move on to making the site itself cleaner and more user-friendly! This extension gives me pretty much everything I’ve wished for from IJ over the years I’ve been using it, and some features that I didn’t even realize I needed (character counts!!!). Even better, it’s all for less than you’d pay for a single permanent account. And, with it being a Tessisamess product, you know you’re going to get the best support for it that it’s possible for a single person to give. If you use IJ extensively, you need this extension. Period. It’s going to change your life. I already don’t want to imagine going back to using IJ without it!
